Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Do Not Get Into A Relationship To Avoid Being Alone

Do Not Get Into A Relationship To Avoid Being Alone by Stanley Popovich

Some people get into a relationship for the sake of not being alone. This can be a mistake. Getting into a relationship with someone just for the sake of not being alone is not very smart. Here are some ways on how to deal with this fear of loneliness.

Getting into a relationship with someone for the sake of not being by yourself can cause problems down the road. What happens if you pick the wrong person? You choose someone and you get married. After five or six months, you start to realize that you made a mistake in selecting this person. What do you do now?

Its not fun being alone but being with someone that you can barely tolerate is not the answer. Once you get married and have kids, it can be very difficult to get out of the relationship if things turn south. Make the smart decisions now and do not let loneliness become an issue in your relationships.

Spending some time with animals can get rid of loneliness. Get a pet or volunteer at your local animal shelter. Walking or petting the animals can be very effective in managing loneliness. Animals are a great source for companionship.

Get a hobby. Find something you like to do and get involved. If you like to play volleyball, then find a local team. If you like to lift weights, then go to a gym. Doing something you like will keep you active and help you to make friends.

Develop a network of friends. A person who has friends will not be as alone as for someone who is constantly by themselves. Again, join a group where you can develop long lasting friendships.

Challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your lonely or depressed, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example, some people may think that if they are alone at the present time then they will always be alone. This is not true. Even if your alone today does not mean that you will be alone all the time. No one can predict the future with one hundred percent accuracy.

Finally, if being alone bothers you that much then its best to see a professional. He or she can give you insights on how to better manage your fear of being alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact the average person spends some time alone during their lifetime.



Stan Popovich is the author of, A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear, an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

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